In Paris – and single - Network Europe

Paris is home to hundreds of tousands of singles

At the beginning of Michel Gondry's film, "The Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind", a depressed looking Joel Barish, played by actor Jimmy Carrey, is standing on a train platform on a cold winter morning. He says to himself: "Valentine's day was invented by greeting cards companies to make single people feel miserable. The scene takes place in Rockville, USA. But in Paris France, as well as in many western capitals, the spirit of Valentine's, is being altered, to cater for people who do not have a partner. Nicolas Wolikow is marketing director at the "Meetic" chatting and dating website.

It's not a hijack, we're just trying to have a counter-offer for Valentine's day, especially for singles, and not only for couples, our duty is to take care of single people. So we're are going to organise speed dating events, seduction parties, the aim is to facilitate meetings between single. Some of them are coming because they want to meet the love of their life, some are coming just because they want to have fun, others have no idea what they will find at these parties, there are no rules.

Sociologists have come up with the concept of sexual nomads, to describe the fact that people now have a consumer's approach to relationships. That's what Léa told me, as she was eating a slice of cake on her twenty third birthday.

In Paris there are numerous opportunities to meet someone and start a relationship. It's much easier to start a relationship and stop it when you are tired of it, it's like you know, we buy clothes and we can throw them away, for partners it's the same we can get rid of them when we're not interested anymore. It's a little bit like that in Paris in any case.

Paris - No longer a place for lovers?

Thirty five year old Olivier broke up with his partner eight months ago, after a twelve year relationship. He was sitting a table away from Léa at the café de l'Industrie in the Bastille district of Paris.

Léa: "It's pretty cool it's a kind of new life it's interesting, I don't have to report on what I am doing, it's the kind of freedom that I like, restaurants, eating out, seeing friends, doing what I want."

Simone Bibal found a new life after her divorce... she was able to go back to her hobbies and be herself again. In a book entitled "allegro solo" she explains that being single is a state of mind, an opportunity to find one's self again. Readers who commented on her book said it was better that Prozac! Simone says it's important that bachelors have a strong network of friends.

Simone Bibal: "If you want to go out, to dance, have a chat, eat out, laugh, you need to find the right people, and make sure that the right people find you, because they need you too. I think it's easier to find such a network in large cities, I have never felt social stigma associated with remaining single in Paris, but I think outside of Paris it exists, because people know you, they run into you, and refer to you as the person who is on her own."

Half of France's singles are like Simone, over the age of forty... It's difficult finding men at that age because men tend to be looking for younger partners. Perhaps the fact that young women are studying longer and working, also explains the increasing number of single people. Candy is a thirty four year old Communications Manager with a large corporate company, she used to organise singles evenings in Paris.

Is the Cupid on strike?

Candy: "Women are obviously working studying longer, now working active, and I think men are finding it difficult to find a place for themselves in society with this situation. I think people have changed as well people have become more and more selfish. Also, if you look at the work environment, many years ago, people would stay in a company all their life, today it's very rare to meet someone who stayed a certain number of years in their company, so this "nomadism" creating singles, is also true of the working environment, so I suppose it's the way our society has evolved. "

Psychiatrists say that single people are a bit schizophrenic, because although they are enjoying their freedom, they ultimately want to be in a relationship, and leave a mark on the earth, in other words have a baby... As a male, Nicolas's biological clock is not ticking. He says what's for sure, is that he doesn't want to die on his own, but again he is only thirty five so there is no rush.

Nicolas: "When winter comes people feel a little lonely in their king size bed, but I am fine, I date girls so I am not worried about it,"

Why are there so many people who are single in France?

Things are changing so fast people need to adapt, girls, men, I think we're a bit lost, and I think we have to redefine love.

It's as simple as that.

In the meantime the freedom enjoyed by singles is increasingly envied by people in a stable relationship. More and more couples are playing single, in the sense that they are keeping their own apartments, and their own friends.